Saturday, April 6, 2013

Coincidences

Here I am...sitting in the recliner, grading the blogs.  I am also watching reruns of The Cosby Show.  well, not really watching, but just having some noise around.

This particular episode is where Vanessa goes out with Jeremy when she told her parents that she was studying with a friend.  Rudy's help was enlisted to lie for her so she could stay out later than her curfew, which of course gave the whole scheme away to Cliff and Claire.  Lying is the topic of the show.  Lying.

My sister and I talked this morning about concerns about our mother.  I talked with Mom on Thursday about two issues that we needed to clarify, which we did, but she told my sister this morning that I had 'chewed her out' and 'used that tone' with her and was upset about something that I wasn't even upset about.  This is not the first time she has twisted and turned conversations or concocted stories to cover herself, and we usually catch her. Of course when we try to talk to her about the 'truth' she sees it as being disrespectful to her and uses more 'cover' to get herself out of any trouble.  My sister and I despise lying, and our father always taught us that lying would do nothing except destroy our character and the trust we had with an individual.  That has always stuck with me, and it is a value that we have taught our daughters as well.

Just when the phone rang this morning, I was ready to read the next post in Julie's blog.  The title? "When is it okay to lie?" with a focus on Huckleberry Finn.  If you haven't read that post, I encourage you to do so. Very good!

My husband and I have always been honest with each other.  We haven't lied to our daughters, and they know the value of honesty.  We know that honesty and trust have been a focus of their relationships with their husbands, and I hear Hilary talk about telling the truth to Landon.

Where do we encounter lying?  Sadly, too many places.  But the place I see/hear it the most is on campus or in my classes.  How often have I heard the reasons for not completing a paper (left it at home, left it in my car then my mom took the car, saved it on the flashdrive but left the flashdrive at home, saved it on the flashdrive but now the flashdrive doesn't work, sent it through BB but for some reason it didn't show up) when the real reason the paper isn't finished is because the student didn't finish it.  I know this.  If I send the student to the LRC for help...he balks.  If I make a deal for the student to send the paper to me IMMEDIATELY when he arrives home, it never arrives.  Why not?  It was left there, wasn't it?  No paper arrives.    The same thing happens with attendance.  A doctor's appointment that can only be made during class time. Other emergencies that just happen and are so complicated  and elaborate when told that I have to stifle the smile.  Very creative!

Is it any surprise that I am skeptical when the excuses come in?  Yes, I like to give the benefit of the doubt, and of course there is always the maxim of "Innocent until proven guilty."  But it is very hard when lying is so natural, so prevalent, and so much of a normal part of our society.  People do it.  Politicians do it.  You know people who do it.  Sad, isn't it?

That's why it was refreshing to read Julie's post.  Coincidence that reading Julie's post, the experiences with my mom, a call from my sister about Mom's 'twisting the truth,' and the Cosby episode about Vanessa's lying all occurred in the same four hour time span?  I think not. Maybe we all need a reminder now and then about this part of our character.

Note:  When I searched for a picture of Vanessa Huxtable, I found one where she was wearing the same outfit as the episode I viewed. How about that!

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for the sweet words. God is good at setting us up when we need to hear something. It's fun to watch Him work. He is SO creative... sometimes watching it all unfold before my eyes makes me smile. I'm SO glad I got to be a special part of your day. Thank you for sharing. It is amazing how God can use anything as a tool... even American Literature. LOL. :)

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  2. As a child I received three spankings. The first was at 4 years old when I crossed the road by myself at my grandparents in Indianapolis. The second was at 5 years old for disrespecting my father when I trotted out of the house in March on a sunny day with summer attire on after he had told me to put Spring clothes on. The third and final spanking was at 7 years old. My father had called me into the living room but I was too busy playing with my toys to listen. Later that evening when he had gone outside to enjoy the evening on the deck I found this awesome HUGE coin on the end table next to his chair. It was so neat I put it in my pocket. As I got ready for bed that night I emptied my find of the day on my dresser and put my pj's on. Mom came in to tuck me in and found the coin the next morning. She asked me where I got it and I told her I found it. She was not aware of it but my father was planning on giving me the fifty cent piece; however, my playtime was more important than answering my fathers call. During breakfast my father asked my mother where she put that fifty cent piece. "Oh, I found it on Livie's dresser. She said she found it." It's a known fact that next to a man's chair is his "stuff." Sometimes on that spot would sit an interesting tool he's put in his pocket for safe keeping during his work day. Othertimes a bag of jellybeans that would be shared if you asked; however, never did you take the contents of Dad's pocket for your own. My father questioned me about the coin. I lied and I had stole because they are the same act in different forms. The lecture that commenced will forever be burned into my being. I was told to go get his belt from the bureau. I received the whoopin' of a lifetime that morning. When I got older I found out that Dad did not walk outside with his coffee in tow because he was so mad at me. He walked outside because the event upset him so bad that he sat on the steps and cried. I did not have any bruises or lash marks; although, I am certain my behind was red during the rest of my breakfast. I don't know if the lecture and spanking were the lesson or finding out later that my dad had wept after the fact but I do know that lying is stealing the truth and stealing is lying about the facts. No child wants to do something so bad that causes a spanking that even hurts Dad!

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